ikraakhan

Of course you don’t care anymore but those belongings you carry around inside you as though they are portion of your plasma will only get settled with time, no misgiving it always was difficult for you to love him when he was persistently running away from you. You always give it a try didn’t you? Tried to change yourself into the type of woman you think he might like. Bolted your mouth more, tried to be softer and warm, ignored much to keep it going, just because once in a very good mood he said that he loves you more than much, compared you with oh God such beautiful impossible things, you were the one for him he thought he could never get enough of, but your expectations for him were unrealistic sugar! where you became fanatical over that romanticized image of him because after struggling for you being less difficult he was still slipping away from you, even after compromising so much of yourself he wasn’t satisfied and was drifting apart,you had exhausted all options, he is not staying anyway, let him leave if he wants to, you can’t make any one stay or can’t split his head open to see what’s inside. Now you are extreme and you are intimidating but et it be the way it was written before you were born. But remember that YOU HAVE TRIED! You have tried entering too many codes….

How desperately she wanted herself to be all his when he hugged her like they will never meet again. She wanted to take few more steps with him when the clock inside her stopped working while he was spinning around with time. She was too empty to explain and too full to say a word, so she decided not to have a conversation and pretend that everything is perfect, because she never want to feel what being without him is like! except of all those unanswerable questions in her head, she never asked him, she thinks its okay not to feel fine for all those silences beautifully retained by words unspoken………….

— What are you looking at ?

u should be in vogue handsome

— I think its nice

You think everything’s nice

— only because I am happy, happier than I have ever been, I wonder why

people are staring

— Let them envy us our happiness, for once, whether they like it or not

know what I like about you? the sense of peace, the peace of mind knowing that I’ve found it, that I can stop looking, I’ve found someone who feels love like I feel it, who wants to believe in it the way I do, That we are both such romantics, pathetically so, completely so,

— I hope so cuz you are wearing me out, I can keep up this rhythm long. Even with zero desire… with or without libido… with your coffee breath, your habit of breaking things, your hair clogging the tub drain…. I choose you, you are my last and only, I don’t want anyone else, I want to take that vow with you, to love you all my life MARRY ME….

smile 🙂

This my friends is why I need to take blood pressure medication from now on to keep my head from exploding – actually heeding to people who have the IQ of a potato talk as though what they are saying makes perfectly equitable sense is driving me crazy!  

When you lose someone you never had, when you miss something you supposed to forget for your own sake, when someone took the best part of you and crumbled you like the house of cards, when you want to get back to someone you know you won’t be able to have back, when it’s hard to make your heart believe that it’s all over, when you want to hold someone so close for the very last time, when you want to spend each and every moment with that someone all over again, where you have been taken to the sky and then been left at the same place where you took off….

 

“Oh you from Pakistan!! A Paki!! Bomber!! Terrorist!! What you doing here!! Wanna blow me to pieces!! Lol do you even have a net in your country!! How could you talk in English man!! No no no you can’t be some girl from Pakistan… because girls over there in your country they don’t go to schools… 22 and not married common!! Girls in your country they get married soon to the “Point of no return state” …. All these yahoo chat rooms upshot are restlessly fluttering around my brain today and the Spate of rage is punching me hard when it is being told all over the news channels that seven lunatics got into the school building in Peshawar city of Pakistan and turned a normal school day into a massacre leaving 161 dead, shot pupils in their eyes and heads, burned their teacher alive in front of them… They are saying children who survived, they will be provided with psychiatrists to comfort from the horrors they had seen…. Lord!! It isn’t just about those who have been killed brutally or about those who subsisted… it’s about every other Pakistani who somehow managed to breathe after all these negative taglines, where they can’t express anger, where they internalized everything and grow a tumor of grief instead… No world, no… We are not terrorists; we Pakistanis are the victim of terrorism….

Every inch of you and i want that as bad as you want to breathe, to show you your worth through my eyes, i grow tumors of your thoughts inside my head where you defying me and that stabs me in my heart and cut every vein inside my skin, I am in need of your need, in thirst of your love in seek of your attention. . .